7 summits Seven tourist traps for people who climb for numbers.
Acht a Flemish grown-up talk for one thousand million billion.
Bouldering Rebellion that broke off from traditional climbing halfway the 20th century, rejecting the doctrine of route length supremacy and differing in theories of worship, ecclesiastical polity and matters of apostolic succession. Bouldering is often taunted by other branches... admittedly from a safe distance. Boulderers disagree among themselves regarding the number of grade sacraments, the scale of use and the real presence of original beta. Strange: Near Ettringen we wake up next to people with their car full of climbing stickers, but they haven't heard about Ettringen. They go bouldering in Glees.
Crux 1) Core 2) Core problem 3) Bottleneck 4) Cross 5) Hard to solve problem, yeah this is a serious article 6)
a vital or decisive stage, point.
- Crux Focus Syndrome (CFS): also known as Kainz' disease;
- Crax: crux in a crack;
A crymber (you may know) hits the final crax in sandbagged testpiece Dreckriss. (pic by Alana)
Dark bluepointing Looking up at a route and seeing that you could actually well do it so you kind of did it. Tick it off.
European Death Knot Unnecessary child-like North-American reaction to our techniques in Europe because we on the contrary were right of calling out their American Death Triangle, yikes, how there's still Americans alive, I don't know!
Font Place where it feels like before you've been climbing with cheats which suddenly don't work anymore.. 5c is the new 8a.
Gaston A shoulder move that papa and mama Rebuffat named their baby after.
Handjam Because headjam is even more painful.
Ben gastons and sends Mut der Verzweiflung, just a few lines right from Dreckriss (see pic above).
(On the right an English fellow climbs the easy intro Jump Up The Pam)
Icicles A tufa for your inner polar bear.
JAAAAP??! STAND!! (so loud that you drop everything) Signals ill-reputated Dutch SAC student groups, delegating another ghettoblaster-powered well-oiled accidentfactory with the destructive entitlement of 19th-century colonists. You'll find them repeating over and over those few exact clumsy things which are forbidden by warning plates on entering Freyr for instance.
Klimpolies Secretive climbing police surveilling sitstarts, dabs and pr(inc)e(ss)clips.
Ledge A momentary glitch in time and space where one can hide from gravity.
After quite some sessions this summer I send Undercover Angel in the sun. Later the heavens open and we welcome two English beasts trying to power through. After the crux (with a dropknee requiring incredible flexibility and ultraprecise wrestling), there's this ledge from where you dyno from two sloping razorblades. Then comes a power sequence to finish it off.
Mama What you shout to quickly signal that you're starting to believe that your last placement of protection (way underneath) is not that good after all.
Never Amount of times you say you will do it again, immediately after finishing a long painful crack adventure.
Onsightseeing Climbing only comfortable grades. Associated jargon: boyfriend/girfriend crags (when a lover climbs only softer grades (yet) and the other half ends up in crags with only routes in this range).
Pumped A grade of sourness normally only known among Marcel and Josiane who look dirty at the neighbours because they have a tree with a branch that may hang over their property and they have a Dacia Sandero, how can they pay for that?!
Quiche What you have to buy at the bakery near Ettringen when someone says we don't have spread for the bread and the bakery has only sweet pastry and they don't like that.
Alana about to find herself three alanas above the bolt in Phenix, a notorious masterpiece in which she forces a thrilling onsight.
Runouts Exams for guardian angels.
Sabetage Ever tried something hard and you were on your way to onsight? But on the ground they're shouting that you really shouldn't go on? But that you should try to replicate their vague beta? And you try? And you fall? Second go, you go your own way and send smoothly? Poor girl/boy, you've been the victim of sabetage.
Topropium Addictive and sedating drug that makes people loose touch with reality. Often illegal.
Unsight You go into something which before you succeeded in onsighting, but now you fly out, then unfortunately we have to inform you that you unsighted the route.
Vermaledijde Exclamation in case of dismay when you don't find your hold getting pumped way above your last piece of protection.
Alana and Hans DW warming up for delicate limestone slabs like Phenix (picture above).
What do you climb? Beginner's smalltalk which should not be answered with plastic/lime/crack/trad but more like the questions on family parties inquiring what your job is and how much you earn.
X-grading A sport grade including a natural selection component.
Yosemite Where a climber goes to after life when the climber didn't pull too many draws and courageously climbed X-graded routes.
Z-clip An M-clip variant in which one sticks to one route.
#beanieclimber You know them, what you want to know is WHY. Disappointingly this A-Z doesn't have all the answers.
Beanieclimbers love posing on martial arts themed tables like here in Pepinster. (pic by Caro)